what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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