weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
