I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize