dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
