thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
