she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
