This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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