Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize