I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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