Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
