yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
