My Higher Power is John Stamos
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
