I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
