I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
