Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
