Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
