His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
