Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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