i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
BRING THE BAGELS
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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