HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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