I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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