So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
