Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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