your room smells of hookers.
And success
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
