I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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