I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
