If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
