The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize