i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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