Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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