yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize