what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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