so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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