so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
did i just pee glitter
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
