the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
