i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
