Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
