Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
