I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
His nipple licking is glorious
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