I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
