I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
