I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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