I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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