i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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