She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize