I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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