I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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