I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
