Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
