Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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