he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize