i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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