ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize