McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
