So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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