im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
