Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
