You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
