oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
