just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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