Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
