i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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