so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
