So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
