Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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