He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
