Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
