I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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