just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
