CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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