How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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