I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
