ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
