Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
